Canine Conspiracy

K: "Li and I were talking about this the other day... Dad, what would you do if I adopted a dog?"

D: (jokingly.. or maybe not) "Change the locks and encourage you to go elsewhere."


Just not ready for another one.

Advice from the K-man...

J: "Don't randomly give your Cuban kids communist cards."

Three-peat for Today: Insult Away!

K: "I guess that I'm really lucky that I like what I do." (proceeds to tell story about work)

Stupid Man-Boy: "Well, all those books were ass. It's all useless knowledge."

K: "Well, not necessarily. Literature is social commentary."

SM-B: "It has absolutely no purpose... Like my first four years of college."

K: "I would really hope that you're not telling me that my job is useless."

SM-B: "No, I'm not. If you want to be a writer, it's good."

K: "What about imparting ideas into individuals? I mean, learning from the past. So deep!"

SM-B: "I guess."

Bonus Round: The Truth Comes Out

Anon.: "Excuse me, but [friend's name] thinks that vampires are real. You can't trust a word she says."

Delicious Delicacies

S: (curious, yet suspicious) "What's this?"

B: (enthusiastic) "They're pretty good."

S: (examining container) "Chocolate... cinnamon... and peppermint all in one? (eats chocolate-covered cinnamon-flavored Altoid) Tastes like Willy Wonka shit in my mouth!"

Out of the Mouths of Babes?

K: "So, why might we need to use something like Cliff Notes?"

Anon.: "Because Tom Sawyer sucks!"

Swedish Bliss...

E: (pointing at crafty Swedish cages to lock up your stuff if you're shopping alone) "Ohhh look! How cool!"

K: "I wonder if you could lock your children in there while you shop. Give them a DS and let them be..."

E: "Well, there is the concern of food and water..."

K: "A few 100-calorie packs will tide them over."

E: "But maybe that's what the Ball Pit is for?"

K: "Yes, but I don't think that you can leave your kids there while you shop. I think you have to supervise."

E: "Oh but maybe the Ball Pit can serve as a coma-inducing baby sitter!"

K: "Throw kids in the pit, tire them out--"

E: "--and then put them in those huge IKEA bags they give you--"

K: "--hang the bag on the cart--"

E: "And you can shop Swedish housewares without interruption!"


Just an afternoon with Best.